It’s over. Season one of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms has come to an end, and Tim and Mike have thoughts — mostly about how the finale was “fine,” how Lyonel Baratheon deserves his own spinoff, and how Egg is a manipulative little bastard who somehow still charmed his way onto the road. We also did a full cunt count for the season, because of course we did.
Welcome back to Watchers on the Couch, a deeply unserious podcast for people who don’t take the shows they watch too seriously.
🗺️ What Happens (Spoilers, obviously)
The episode picks up in the aftermath of the Trial of Seven, with Dunk laid out under a tree, completely beat to shit. Lyonel Baratheon sits with him, delivers the most furious speech in the entire season, and invites Dunk to come to Storm’s End — an offer Dunk, in a spectacular act of self-sabotage, eventually turns down.
Dunk attends Baelor’s funeral, gets told to fuck off by Valarr (fair), and is then found by Raymun Fossoway, who has: a new green apple shield, a new wife (Rowan — the woman who was giving Dunk grief near the Dondarrion tent back in episode one), and probably a baby on the way. Raymun is on top of the world. He beat his cousin, got his own sigil, and is already bobbing for apples, if you know what Mike means, and unfortunately you do.
Maekar summons Dunk to tell him Aerion is being packed off to the Free Cities — good luck, Essos — and asks Dunk to take Egg as his squire. Dunk says no. He’s done with princes.
We get a significant flashback to Dunk’s time with Ser Arlan of Pennytree, mid-story about a tree where boys nail a penny before going to war. Arlan collapses. The implication: he died before ever formally knighting Dunk, making Dunk’s entire identity a lie. Then Arlan wakes up and says “a true knight always finishes his story.” So: still ambiguous. Very George R.R. Martin.
Daeron tracks Dunk down and makes a quiet case: Aerion wasn’t always a monster, he used to be like Egg, and someone should have guided him. Cut to: Egg sneaking into Aerion’s room with a knife while Aerion sleeps. Maekar sees it. Nobody talks about it.
Dunk changes his mind. He’ll squire Egg — but on the road, not at Summerhall. Maekar hates this, eventually agrees anyway. Dunk gives Sweetfoot to Raymun (“she might like an orchard”), and hits the road.
Just outside Ashford, Egg catches up. “Father says I’m to serve you.” Dunk rides off without checking. Title card: The Nine Kingdoms. The education has already begun.
The final shot briefly shows Arlan’s ghost riding alongside Dunk before turning away — releasing him as his own knight. Then “16 Tons” plays over the credits. Both Tim and Mike agree this was a mistake.
💬 Our Takes
On the episode overall:
Fine. Not great, not bad, underwhelming as a season finale. Both Tim and Mike trace most of their disappointment back to episode five — the Trial of Seven not quite landing the way it needed to. This coda suffers for it.
“It starts off great with the opening scene… and then it kind of goes downhill and then it coasts its way to an ending that is mostly satisfying.” — Tim
On the saxophone cold open:
HBO opened the episode with a saxophone solo. Tim spent thirty seconds convinced it was a technical error. It wasn’t. Mike allowed it fits the show’s goofy streak. Tim remains suspicious.
On Lyonel Baratheon’s speech:
The undisputed highlight of the episode — and maybe the series. And it is not gentle. Lyonel is furious. He lists off the men who bled for Dunk — Hardyng, Beesbury, Raymun — and then turns on Baelor: “Your prince? Fought against men sworn to protect him! He risked NOTHING!” A prince with Kingsguard protection inserting himself into a trial for the poor, playing at honor while real men paid for it. The gods don’t favor a fraud.
It reframes Baelor’s death entirely. Not a tragedy. A consequence. Tim and Mike both named it the best scene in the season — precisely because it doesn’t let anyone off the hook.
They also want Lyonel to have his own spinoff. HBO, whenever you’re ready.
On Dunk’s legitimacy as a knight:
Still unresolved. Mike’s read (from the audiobook) is that Dunk was almost certainly never formally knighted. The Arlan scene deliberately keeps it ambiguous. Dunk has admitted, in his own way, that he knows what it’s like to lie about something you really want. Make of that what you will.
On Egg’s knife moment:
Mike’s take: Egg has Targaryen darkness in him and it will come out eventually. Tim has turned on Egg slightly after his first conversation with Dunk this episode. “Emotionally manipulative son of a bitch.” The question isn’t whether the darkness is there. The question is what triggers it.
On the book vs. the show:
Mike listened to the audiobook. His verdict: don’t bother. The show is better. Lyonel barely exists in the source material, the tournament is smaller, and nothing that was changed actually matters. The adaptation improves on the source in almost every respect.
On the “16 Tons” ending:
No.
🏆 Highlights
- Tim’s TLDW: “Baelor’s dead. Dunk’s a mess. Egg wants to go with Duncan. Duncan says no. It comes anyway. There are nine kingdoms.”
- Mike immediately clocking the Willy Wonka energy in Lyonel’s rage: “He risked nothing! He lost! You lose, sir! You get nothing!” — Lyonel Baratheon is basically Willy Wonka if Willy Wonka watched men bleed for him.
- The apple pun extended universe, courtesy of Mike. It went on for a while. We won’t be repeating it here.
- Total season runtime: 208 minutes — the exact same length as the Extended Edition of Fellowship of the Ring. Tim checked.
- Final cunt count for the season: 11. One every 18.9 minutes. Tim has a sound clip. Mike was delighted.
🔮 What’s Next
Season two is already filming, expected 2027, adapting The Sworn Sword. Showrunner Ira Parker wants to make 12 seasons total — four each for Young Egg, Prince Egg, and King Egg. George R.R. Martin has provided outlines for unpublished Dunk and Egg adventures to fill the gaps. That’s a long plan.
In the meantime: House of the Dragon Season 3 is coming in June 2026. Tim and Mike will be covering it. Expect off-season content in the lead-up — HOTD season recaps and more. Watch this space.
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Want to read the source material? A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms on Amazon — though Mike’s honest take is the show is better.
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